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Chapter 1
Gina, the worlds most famous detective, and her closest
friend Alex, also a
detective (though she moonlighted as a
pop star) sat at the kitchen table
discussing thier latest mystery.
"He couldn't have married her out of love Big Al, it just doesn't make sense"
Gina said as she took a bite out of her Old Country Buffet hashbrown that was
shipped specially to thier house.
"I know. Why wouldn't Zac and Ike actually be in the wedding? I can't believe
they would stand for that" Alex agreed as she looked over the wedding photos.
All of a sudden there was a big commotion and a loud noise coming from the
other side of the kitchen.
"YOU LIKE THE BUTT SEX!!!" thier
neighbor Jenn yelled as she begin to hump
Alex wildly.
Before anything could be done, Jenn was quickly lifted off Alex, who
strangely enough has become quite use to this behavior.
"I tried to stop her Alex, I swear" Justin said coming into the kitchen after
he escorted Jenn back to her house.
"Sure you did, you probably
like the butt sex" Gina accused him as he sat
down taking a sip of
Alex's coffee.
Alex rolled her eyes at thier behavior. You'd think
they would eventually
start to get along. Gina and Alex had been friends
since they were in the 5th
grade and Alex and Justin had been married
for quite some time. How the hell
do you think she got her other job
as the pop star? With her flat chest?
"Anyways...back to the matter
at hand. What about the pregency rumors? Do you
think there's any
truth?" Alex asked.
"I think he knocked her up and he had to marry
her. Have you seen her
picture. Damn"
After his last remark Gina preceded to beat him repeatedly with the closest
thing next to her, thier pet Buddha
Gina and Justin were rolled
up in a ball on the floor and Gina had Justin
pinned to the floor
begging for mercy.
"You don't wanna fuck with Buddah. Cause Buddah
will fucking kill you Justin"
Alex finally got them apart and Justin
went into his bedroom and cried.
"Well I hope you're happy. He's
probably going to have nightmares again"
"Big Al, I can only handle
so much"
Alex let out a exasperated sigh. "I know little Gina,
I know"
"Now how are we going to go about this?" she asked as she
started to put on
her make-up.
"I thought we would start by killing his wife and throwing her body in a
river" Gina replied while putting on a hat.
Alex looked
over and almost forgot that this was a case very close to Gina's
heart.
Taylor was the love of her life, quite obviously she would want to
through
his wife's body in a river. Look what they did to Britney Spears,
poor
Justin still thinks she moved to East Shibib.
"I think we need
to work on that a little more...to the blue minivan!"
Chapter
2
"Lets start by asking some of our "special sources" some
questions" Alex said
as they pulled up the the Hanson's present residence.
"Hey Mackie, come here. I have candy" Gina taunted.
'Mommy said I'm not supposed to talk to strangers" he answered as he started
playing with his red ball again.
"It's time for plan B"
Alex said as she pulled Aaron Carter out of the trunk.
"Hey Mackie,
isn't this one of your friends?"
Mackie came over, poked him and
looked him in the eye. "Nah I don't know him
either"
"You told us you were friends with the Hansons" Gina said pointing her finger
in Aaron's face.
"No..No
I didn't"
Alex coughed to get Gina's attention.
"I think we only have him because of that obsession we had with him" she said
beneath her breath.
"What
obsession?"
"Remember when we went to the All That concert and
he was riding around on
the scooter with the shiny shirt?"
Gina nodded knowingly. "Oh okay. Oops."
After apologizing they put Aaron Carter back into the Van who surprisingly
didn't cry once *unlike his older brother who shall remain nameless who cried
when he was arrested*.
"What are we going to do now?
If Mackie doesn't talk to us we'll have to
think of a whole nother
plan!" Gina said starting to crack under the
pressure.
"Do you want me to get Jenn to give you THE butt sex? Cause I will Gina if
you don't pull yourself together here" Alex said, a new way to get Mackie
forming in her mind.
"Okay,
I'm alright. What next?"
"Hey Mackie"
"Yea?"
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"Gina dated Zac before"
"Really?"
"Really"
"Oh okay, do you want to come in?"
Gina looked at Alex puzzled.
"How did you do that?"
"He's a Hanson. They'll believe anything."
Chapter 3
.
"So Mackie, I hear that Taylor got married"
Alex had cut right to the chase. They were all seated in in Mackie's room,
sipping imaginary cups of tea.
"Who told you that?"
"It's all over the news punk and if you don't tell us the real reason why I'm
going to come in your room late and night and do you know what I'm going to
do?" Gina asked as got real close.
"I'm going to cut your hair off piece by piece until you are completely bald"
Alex looked over at the completely serious look on face and Mackie looking
like he might bolt any second.
"Gina, might I see you outside?"
"Sure..but you better not move" she said pointing at him.
Once out of earshot Alex looked at Gina angered.
"Yelling
at him is not going to get us anywhere"
"I know, I just let all
my fruststrations get to me. I apologize"
"Now lets try this again"
928283458347 hours later....
Gina
and Alex left the Hanson house with just as much information as they
came
with. Gina though did leave with a pair of Taylor's boxers and thier
house
phone number.
"What are we going to do now? Mackie was no help"
Gina sighed as they settled
back into the house.
"Well maybe if you hadn't threatened him"Alex said as Justin came into the
living room.
"I didn't threaten
him...it was a friendly little push" Gina replied as she
searched
for Buddah.
It was then that Alex and Gina had noticed that they
weren't alone.
"Justin, who else is in the house?" Alex asked sweetly.
"Oh, just Zac Hanson"
Gina's
eyes bulged out of her head and she jumped on Justin's back, beating
him
while Alex stood idily by.
"Alex, aren't you going to get her off
me?"
"YOU WANT ME TO GET HER OFF YOU? WE"VE BEEN TRYING TO GET
A WAY INTO THE
HANSON"S HOUSE AND YOU"RE FRIENDS WITH THEM???"
Justin looked at the ground shamefully. "Yes"
"Buddah's gonna fucking kill you Justin" Gina said from her position on
Justin's back.
Alex took a deep breath, closed her eyes
and sat down in the living room. It
was time to think of a new plan.
Chapter 4
"Gina, you're
going to date Zac"
"Yea, and you married Justin Timberlake"
"Gina I'm being serious"
"How
would you like me to do that? Waltz into the kitchen, do a little
stripteaze,
sit on his lap and tell him that we're two lost hearts looking
for
each other?"
Alex looked at Gina as she petted Buddah, you would
think she would worry
about her friends remarks. That one was actually
semi-normal.
"No Gina, why don't you actually try communication.
Ever heard of it? Lets go
into the kitchen and try at least. This
might be our last option because I'm
not dating Ike"
"Because of Justin"
"No
because he creeps me out"
They walked into the kitchen to find
Justin and Zac apparently talking about
women.
"Life is a twinkie and girls are the sticky white stuff inside" Zac said
after taking a sip of his coffee.
Justin looked up helplessly, "Zac this is my girlfriend...I mean wife...yea
wife Alex and her best friend Gina"
Alex elbowed Gina, pointing
towards the empty chair next to Zac. Gina still
had Buddah in her
arms and Alex prayed that Zac wouldn't noticed the fat
little man.
"So Gina, what do you like to do for fun?" Zac asked turning his full
attention to her.
"Oh I
go white water rafting, deep sea fishing and if I have time I like to
work
the local corner" Gina answered while passing Buddah off to a exiting
Alex
and Justin.
"Really? Me too!"
Gina and Zac talked for what seemed like hours to her, but was only mere
minutes before the back door opened and Jenn begin to rapidly hump Zac.
"Oh My God, What the hell is this. Get it off me!" he shrieked like a little
girl as Jenn followed him around the kitchen.
"Alex, Justin,
help us" Gina yelled. She just wasn't strong enough to get
Jenn out
of her Butt Sex rampages.
"Jesus God" Gina said in between giggles
as Justin escorted Jenn back to her
house.
"What?" Alex asked innocently as she picked her "out to there hair".
"Is it that time already?"
All of the sudden Alex jumped
on the kitchen table, spoon in hand, disco
lights begin flashing and
she begin to do her best rendition of "Can't Fight
The Moonlight"
by Leann Rimes.
Gina grabbed Buddah, some popcorn and settled herself
in a chair ready for
the rest of the performance. This was quite a
common occurance at thier
house.
"Hey, Zac Hanson. Get your ass up here"
Gina watched in
awe as Alex and Zac did a damn good cover of "What A Girl
Wants".
Alex didn't know most of the words, but Zac was able to pick up
where
she left off.
This went on for most of the night, the four 20 or
so year olds taking turns
singing thier favorite songs. It was about
12a.m when Gina had to take Zac
home.
"So, would you like to go out with me sometime"
"No cause
i want your brother dumbass" Gina answered without thinking.
"What?"
he looked at her in disbelief.
"I mean...of course! I would love
to. Pick me up tomorrow at 8. Ta Ta"
Gina slapped herself in the
head before peeling out of his driveway "What the
hell am I doing?"
Chapter 5
"What are you
going to do on this date Gina?"
"Find out why Taylor Hanson married
that evil bitch from hell"
"And how are you going to do that Gina?"
"By asking informative questions"
"And...."
Gina looked away from Alex pretending not to hear
anything she said.
"And..... Gina Louise Marino"
"NO! NOT MY MIDDLE NAME! BAH!"
"And...."
Gina sighed. "And use my sexuality to get the
answers I want"
"Good Little Gina. Now Justin's gonna put this
wire on you and all you have
to do is plant this tiny microchip looking
video camera somewhere so we can
see everything. Justin and I will
be following you in a van putting
everything together, and coming
to your rescue in case anything gets to
heavy"
"Ok....can I take Buddah?"
"No"
"Why not?" Gina whined clutching the bald man tightly.
"Because, now go get ready. Zac will be here any minute".
At
the resturant.....
"Gina, why did you want to come here?" Zac asked
as they pulled into "Barbs
House of Pancakes"
"I had a craving, do you have a problem with it?" she answered glaring at
him.
"No..no...I was just
wondering".
After Gina inhaled 383838 pancaked and 38339 glasses
of pepsi she was finally
ready to go to the club.
to be continued..........
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